When Intimidation Tries to Silence
They Raised their Voice. I Raised the Bar.
For the longest time, whenever someone escalated into yelling, my chest cavity felt like it was being sucked into a black hole and I would become utterly flustered. My body would then tremble and shake to its core, propelling me to either scatter away or meet them at their level.
Yesterday was one of those days, but with a twist.
Although my hands and body vibrated with fearful trembles, this was the first time I allowed my nerves to settle. I centered myself by remembering that I did not survive all their humbuggery for nothing. They collectively ripped my dignity and peace from my being, turning my life upside down after they blew it into a million little pieces for the simple fact that they could, not to mention that they would go to any length to avoid facing accountability for their actions. They have all the power. Money. Influence. Connections—including high-level officials in the government. And then some.
I am now facing these powerful people in federal court—my choice. One of their recent threats was loaded with hostility, to say the least, for the sole purpose of hijacking my nervous system and trying to rattle me to my core so that I would fold under pressure because I am playing in their sandbox: uncovering the Constitution beneath the grains they burried it with, hoping no one will remember our God-given rights while I “force” them to confront the very laws they took an oath to defend.
This aggressive, seven page legal argument for sanctions freaked me out at first glance. My immediate thought was, “Ohhh, I am done. I’m going to lose.” For the simple fact that it exceeded my understanding, stretching beyond my mental capacity.
Intimidation bypasses logic and seeks emotional violation, provoking impulsive reactions while they meticulously record every slip up they can—and will—weaponize against me.
Tapping into the ability to self-govern requires us to stay present in the moment and not let the racing thoughts dictate our actions before they are thoughtfully analyzed. The key will be taking a step back, slowing our breathing and regaining our composure. It will be the critical, split-second choice not to abandon ourselves when panic blindsides us and causes us to do or say something we will regret.
They only win if we stop trusting our instincts, begin questioning our moral obligations and surrender faith in ourselves. Their strategy depends on us shrinking to fit a mold we no longer occupy—and thankfully, this is what I reminded myself of before responding.
The younger me allowed others to define my worth. I was bogged down and burdened by caring what people thought, often allowing myself to be talked out of my own opinions and decisions. Yesterday marked a significant step forward in how I responded—calmly, professionally and with intention—to set the tone and raise the bar.
For those who may feel this way during conflict, I offer you this: trust yourself. Give yourself time to make a sound decision. Go for a walk. Hit the gym. There is rarely an urgency in meeting someone else’s demands.
It is time to turn the tables and choose ourselves—the life we deserve begins once we decide our worth is no longer up for negotiation.
